Friday, June 28, 2013

The All-Compliance Buy Out Team

Not saying guys are doing this but...
In addition to the normal free agent and draft day frenzy that follows the Stanley Cup Final like a [expletive] swear filled victory parade this year we get to speculate on who's going to be bought out.  Some of it is less speculation and waiting for the paperwork to clear.  As an aside, I wish they'd give the players giant ceremonial checks, like the ones lottery winners receive, with the payout amounts written on them as a way of shaming of the GM a little.

Laura (@theactivestick) had mentioned how'd it be cool to build an all buy out expansion team and place them in Quebec until Seattle is ready to host an NHL team. Obviously, since neither Gary Bettman or Bill Daly read this blog, they're going to miss this opportunity to do what is both right and absolutely hysterical.  As well, as probably a little marginal and ineffective (although, they really don't need my help doing things like that *cough* Phoenix *cough*).

Using gap geek and this slightly date article from the Bleacher Report I made a list of hockey players and then played Fantasy GM without a fantasy agent telling me his guy wanted more years and more money and that I should take my low-ball offer and shove it up my ass.

Below, the right justified (for some reason) depth chart for your 2013 Quebec Nordiques 2.0 using nothing but projected, expected, or announced buy outs:

Ville Lieno
Vincent Lecavalier
Mikael Samuelsson
David Booth
Daniel Briere
Eric Cole
Paul Gaustad
Shawn Horcroff
Scottie Upshall
Rene Bourque
Chris Kelly
Derek Dorsett


Sheldon Souray
Wade Redden

Jack Johnson
Mike Commodore

Tyler Myers
Steve Montador


Roberto Luongo

Jonas Hiller

Depth Players (Scratches): Matt Stajan (C),  Matt Bradley (RW), Jiri Hudler (LW), Derek Joslin (D)

The real question for everyone - can this little band of freedom fighters really battle the evil Galactic Empire that is the recent Cup winners?  In a word or two: (Hell) No.

A few things to note before writing this team off the AHL:
  • The lack of depth at left wing would make Tim Thomas comfortable.
  • Of course the lack of depth at right wing would make him retreat back to Colorado.
  • The GM would probably want to flip one of his two goalies for a backup and a roster player or two.  I hear Toronto might be willing to do that sort of thing.
  • The defense isn't sexy.  And not just because of this visual but because Jack Johnson and Tyler Myers aren't really good NHL defensemen.  In Myers case, he still has the potential and time to develop which is why I took him (besides the fact that I only found 7 defensemen listed). 
  • With Hiller and Luongo on the list I couldn't resist taking them over Bryzgalov and Marc Andre Fluery (though part of me wanted to put them on the same team so you name the end boards the Red Light District).
So here we have a non-sexy, kiddie pool shallow team that more than of the roster is eligible for hockey player AARP benefits but it'd be announced in French at home, so they've got that going for them, which is nice.

Tune in next year for the all compliance buy out Hartford Whalers!

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